Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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