in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
