Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
