I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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