He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
