I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
