I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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