how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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