He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Randomize
