Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
