Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize