I want to make a zoo with you.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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