WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
