he wants to bone in the snuggie
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
