So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
