My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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