omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
