I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
