Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
