New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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