That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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