You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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