anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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