So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
