And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
