I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
They have beer where we have blood.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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