But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
BRING THE BAGELS
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
