All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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