i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
im holly from the hills drunk
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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