I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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