So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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