Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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