Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
