You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
