There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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