I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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