The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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