I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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