love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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