I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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