How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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