He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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