Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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