She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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