OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
