she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
it wasn't lemon gatorade
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
