i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
