i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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