you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
