i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize