And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
