There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
