What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
