That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
