that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize