I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
