Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
