I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he puts the penis in happiness.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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