Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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