I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
