Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
