sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
