she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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