i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
