Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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